Rich and Poor

28.12.12                     Sangeet

Eggs for breakfast, ew. We all decided we’d have tuk tuk races to Sarojini Narga Market. Hannah, Ollie and I won the race (potentially because everyone else stopped at the ATM). The way of spending here is ridiculous. Some things are worth 10 rupee, like parking. Others can be thousands, like clothing. I paid 150 rupee for a hippy bag for Grandma, I hope she likes it. 

We returned to our apartment to change for the black tie function out at the farm. Babu, who is a bit like a butler and has been since he was 15 (which was probably about 30 years ago), picked us up. All ten of us piled into the car and we were off to the Brar farm, not sure what to expect. On arrival, we were at the entrance to a red carpet under a large white walk way. As soon as we looked like we were about to make a move to walk down the carpet, ten Indian men in silver sparkley suits and purple head dresses began to beat massive drums and dance around us. It soon occurred to us that this was actually for us, and that we needed to walk/dance our way through them to enter the venue. 

There was flowers and colourful fabric draped everywhere, I felt as if I was trapped in a Bollywood movie. It got better when we were told Mandy had to be part of the ceremony in ‘announcing to everyone we are having a wedding in our family’. This involved her carrying a large pot with four candles on top of her head and spinning and dancing her way through the crowd surrounded by all the females in Vir’s family. Ken was also given a special job, we had a sparkley stick with bells on it to beat around. Hannah’s cousin John had a cane plate and a stick, which he was to use to break the plate. It was just like what happens in Bend It Like Beckham. Little did we know as we made our way to the dance floor that we were to dance in front of everyone and every female (including me) had to dance with the pot on their head. With all the clapping, cheering and music, I’m not sure I have ever been so amazed and excited by my surroundings. There are numerous videos. 

The next part of the ceremony was for Aditi and her friends to dance for everyone, it was very traditional, with some modern moves (the sprinkler and makarena) thrown in. We drank, we ate, we danced. It was awesome. If my wedding is half that merry, I will be thrilled. Ken fell asleep half way through, at about 9pm, but soon woke up, found his second wind and hit the d.floor. We continued the party at our house with some bailey’s but that soon came to an end when we ran out!!

29.12.12                     Mendi

The Mendi (henna) ceremony was to go ahead. We waited around for ages at Bev’s in our traditional Indian clothing again. This time I was wearing a longer gold and pink dress with my tights, I felt like a princess. It seems nothing happens on time here. Time is slow and nothing is of huge importance but this is not relaxing like Fiji, just super frustrating. While we waited in the lounge, the boys were running around Delhi being tourists, seeing all the sights with a few beers along the way. Anyway, we finally made it to the Mendi, only about four hours late, but that didn’t appear to bother anyone. The farm had changed from pink and silver to yellow. It was insane. Everything had changed colour, down to the seat covers and flowers.   

The Mendi was very relaxed though. All the ladies just sat around holding their palms up in order for the henna to dry, it did look very odd. However, the outcome was amazing and it will be with my for a good few weeks yet.  We had dinner at a new club, which I think is for the military and their families. We were the first guests they’d had. After the previous evening, it was an alcohol free affair. It was lovely though., exactly what we needed. Tej was keen to go out, and did so. He offered to take us to, but none of us were particularly up for it so we went home and chatted. Hannah and I had a huge boy catch up and talked about Swanbourne. It is really special that the year we’ve had apart hasn’t changed our friendship at all.  I’m lucky to have her and her amazing family!!

30.12.12                     Wedding Time!

We woke up and lay about, had a relaxing morning etc, until Mandy ran into our room at 10.03am to tell us the wedding was all on and that a car was to pick us up at 10.30am… Holy shit. Luckily, like I said, nothing happens on time here and Lynda had already had a shower – phew. However we were very rushed. We piled into the car and were on our way to the farm. Pink and blue were the colours of the day and everyone looked amazing! 

The official ceremony began with the exchanging of garlands between the males of each family – grandfather to grandfather, father to father, uncle (Ken) to uncle etc. It was really cool because most weddings to do acknowledge the connection of the families, just the bride and groom. While this was taking place, there was a group of local women standing at the entrance yelling and clapping. Tej explained to me they were witch doctors and will turn up at any event (birthday, wedding, baby, new car) and ask for money. If you do not give them money, they put a curse on the event. Parminder must have paid them though as they soon left! First was the sihq ceremony. Everyone had to cover their heads so all our boys had turbans. Vir sat on the right surrounded by the women of his family and Aditi on the left likewise. The ceremony was quite cool and involved about five repetitions of Vir leading Aditi around the altar, (which was a large square), with her holding onto his scarf. Aditi was supported by her brother or cousin and this role was exchanged at every corner.

Next was the Christian ceremony, at which they exchanged rings under a blessing and then cut the cake. This was then followed by a hindu ceremony which was purely the exchanging of garlands. Each ceremony took place of a different raised platform throughout the venue. Then, finally, we could celebrate and congratulate the married couple!! We ate, drank and danced, then went back to B and P’s to continue. Aditi and Vir were welcomed home by all the females of the household. Aditi has to kick a pot of rice over the doorstep and be fed by Beverly to symbolize her being part of the Brar family now, not her own.  The whiskey was a flowing and the noise level was rising, so we decided we’d go and party at our house.  I have never seen a happier couple.

31.12.12                           The Other Side of The Coin

Up early today in order to catch the Metro to Old Delhi to go on a walking tour with Lynda. I jumped at the opportunity of this as I had begun to feel I need not be in India in order to wait around for a wedding. It is a day that I struggle to describe… The metro was surprising as it was so clean and technologically advanced (in comparison to the rickshaws, horse and carts and bikes). It could have been in any country in the world. The main difference was the separation of men and women, with the women occupying the first carriage only. It was a punishable offense for a man to be in the first carriage. As soon as we popped up from the metro in Old Delhi, it was super obvious we were in a different part of town. It smelt different, the poverty was in your face, it was filthy and the people harassed everyone, especially the white people… which Lynda and I were the only two in the entire vicinity.  

We met Iqbal and S outside Jain Mandir, which is a massive outdoor temple with a maximum capacity of 25000. The only downside was the 300 idr fee to take in a camera, regardless of whether we used it or not. The boys, who were about my age and had lived on the street, been taken into a shelter and then made it in the big wide world. They took us through the back streets of Old Delhi, showing us Jain, Sihq, Hindu and Buddist temples as well as historical sights such as the first girls high school, an embroidery factory, the house of the last emperor and the spice market. The tour finished in a shelter for boys who were plucked off the street. It was supported by the tour company and Iqbal and S had both lived there. They were the most amazing boys.

What I really admired was that despite all their stories and experiences on the street, they still had their dreams and aspirations. One boy in particular was very cool, he had grown up in the forest with all the animals, sleeping in trees. He was a real life Mowgli from the Jungle Book.  He couldn’t talk, but could make every sound and motion of every animal in the jungle – different sorts of birds, snakes etc. He was amazing.